Everyday Musings

Ughhh....

2011-03-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

Blew it big time yesterday........ sort of because I did do it consciously. First I had one corn tortilla with my dinner, then a big red apple, then half of a 3 Musketeers bar...... but I knew what I was doing - so I'm not excusing myself. But just to record what I was feeling when I ate, I really really was craving sugar so I ate the apple, but it did not satisfy or diminished the craving, then the nephew placed the choc bar right in from of me.... so I shared with my niece - but I could certainly have had the whole bar and more, I stopped at half - so I'm half patting myself for the control. Oh yes, I got on the scale to verify the loss and.................. nothing, the battery was gone from the scale.... oh God Bless my wonderful son...... =)

224.8

2011-03-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, a loss was registered but I don't really believe it. Why? because I'm a half-empty glass kind of gal....... So if the loss is there next week then I can rejoice. So far today has been going good: Breakfast: Jack in box steak & eggs burrito...... no tortilla or potatoes, served in a bowl :) Drink: Coffee w lil bit of pwdr creamer Lunch: Ronnie's Antipasta Salad? Snack: 6 pre-cooked bacon slices.....Yum... <3 bacon! Dinner: 2 Eggs over medium w sauted veggies On my way home I need to stop and buy some 'stuff' including a pan for cooking eggs.... I'm ready to call it a day!

Weekend Report................

2011-03-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was not a good day...... not terribly bad but definetly not good (had a small Coldstone icecream in a cup, wish I could say it was worth it).

The thing is that while I was eating the icecream, my mind kept telling me that I really did not want it.... but I persisted and finished it off. So now you see the me that I'm fighting against - the healthy/skinny me that wants to win keeps getting beat up by the unhealthy, selfish me. I had a plan that I should have stuck with (getting tea before meeting up w friend) but I was running late..... the rest is history, I have no one to blame but myself.

Today is not over yet but the healthy me is in control and looking forward to the future - I weigh in tomorrow, although I don't expect a loss perhaps there will even be a gain as long as is under 230 I can work with it.

My dear husband informed me that he prepared food for the week - home made mac & cheese, rice, pasta, hamburger patties, etc.... I did not have the heart to let him know that I would not be eating it, but at least now that I know he does not plan to cook I can be sure to eat before I get home or even cook!

I believe that I have a pretty good menu going.....

Breakfasts - scrambled eggs w vegetable toppings

Lunches - tuna mix w bell peppers, deli turkey- boiled eggs platter

Dinner - Pollo Correteado, Ronnie's salad

As I type away, there is a box full of candy bars for a school fundraiser........ I can not believe that I actually am not drawn to them - but the 'bad' me wants to take over and 'what the heck go for it'... but if I stop and really communicate with myself - I do not crave the candy.......

I close with this..... the last time I went to a doctor, I told him that I did not have an appetite, that I just ate because it was there...... he was very matter of fact with telling me 'eso no esta bien, porque no le pones atencion a tu cuerpo, es el unico que vas a tener'..........

Ok, one more thought just came to mind..... I can do all things with/thru God who strengthens me...... Amada, you can have a healthy week, stop, think, walk past the carbs.

p.s. I know that there is an errant 'k' floating in the writing somewhere, but for the life of my bad eyesight I can not located.... so here goes to posting 'as is'

The weekend is here...........

2011-03-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

Firstg I must report that yesterday was a good day:]

Breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs w sauteed veggies

drink - 1 cup of coffee

Lunch - Grilled chicken w fresh salsa

Dinner- 2 boiled eggs, 4 slices of turkey & 1 string cheese

After dinner at 5ish, I rested for 30 minutes, then talked w the Hubs about my day, took my step-mom shopping for my youngest niece, came home around 10 and to bed.....

So I'm pretty sure I did not snack....haha

However, this being the weekend - I must be vigilant to not fall pray to the 'zonambulant' walk to the fridge.........

3rd day.....winning!... lol

2011-03-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

just spent a couple of hours reading weight loss blogs and found a couple of very encouraging blogs, the exercise of reading also kept me from raiding the kitchen but now I'm starting to feel the urge... so I must off my self to bed, but not before stating that I had a good day.

breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs w sauteed mushrooms

drink: coffee with less powdered creamer than usual ;)

lunch: 2 eggs deviled style, 4 deli slices of herbed roasted turkey with mayo & mustard

snack: drats - I can't remember if I did, but if I did I know it was good!

Dinner:1 pork rib w onions

snack: nothing did not dare walk into kitchen

Ok, off to bed now........Thank you Jesus for a wonderful day!

228

2011-03-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

Yes..... I am at 228lbs this morning & I wonder why my size 18's are uncomfortable! Only 2 measly pounds from 230.....not even a skip and a jump away. Oh I know how I got to this point, can we scream 'Sedentary lifestyle & boredom eating'. I can sincerely say I don't remember the last time I felt hunger....

I told a co-worker that I should wear a bell on my shoes and when she hears it, 9 times out of 10 I'm heading to the fully stocked kitchen so she is to tackle me on the cold slippery hallway tile and try to knock some sense into me.... but since she is over 60 and I am over 225lbs, I think she is a bit apprehensive..... So it's up to me!

Yesterday was day 2 of my lower than usual low carb eating day - I say lower than usual because I'm doing the cardinal sin of not writing everything down, so although I'm definetly eating low carb - if it's low enough I can only hope.

Breakfast - 2 Scrambled eggs with sauteed onions & peppers

Drink - 1 cup of coffe w lot less powdered creamer than usual

Lunch - Small can of tuna, mayo, mustard, dill pickle, red bell pepper

Drink - Diet tea - (I need help with the digestion IYKWIM)

Snack - 3 slices of herbed roasted turkey dip of mayo & mustard

Dinner - 1 cup of leftover alfredo topping without the alfredo just the veggies & beef

Drink - Sugar free flavored water

Snack - sauted onions, mushrooms & cauliflower

Water lots of water through out the day.......... good thing I like water.

Now all this sauteing has been done with vegetable oil, I wonder if I should be using olive oil or butter instead....

On other news:

My son has been coming into my dressing room every morning as I'm applying my make-up and hair and just stands there, we have small chats as he watches me...... and watches. I have not asked him what is that holds such interest in him, but I will, I will.... lol

An Awakening?

2011-03-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

As I was changing this morning - I realized I have become that which I have (dare I actually write this down) 'mocked'..... oh yes, I am still wearing an 18 size.......it's just that my tire has gone from regular car size to a monster truck size, and yes it can get bigger yet. At this point I can no longer grab my 'lonja' with my hand.
So I need to stop beating me up for it and for my sake and family do something about it. I remember feeling great while doing low-carb. I had energy, my apetite actually decreased, lost the inches and 'carby' food no longer tasted as good as I remembered.
First things first:
Take it one day at a time
Jot down what I eat
MOVE MOVE MOVE

Three short and sweet guidelines that I read are a sure road to success.

1st day:
Breakfast: 2 Scrambled eggs topped w/ sauteed onions & bell peppers
1 cup of Coffee, less powder cream than usual & SL
Lunch: Albacore tuna w mayo, served with orange bell pepper
#2 Tea.....I really need the help...lol
Snack: Bacon slices - precooked
Cheese - string & low fat
Dinner: Pollo Correteado & Salsa

Sister...........

2009-06-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

As I was doing my blog browsing in one of my favorites http://visualvamp.blogspot.com/ this picture by artist Harouni captured my attention, it reminds me of someone..........got it, my sister! Liz is a Christmas baby & as great a sister as I could have ever picked out for myself. I remember our mother telling us not to fight or argue because we were sisters, my answer was 'es por eso que peleamos, si no fueramos hermanas no pelearamos'. I love my sister dearly, she has been & continues to be a blessing in my life.

I have always admired her & think it's great that the older we get the more alike we seem......

Remembering the altars..........

2009-06-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

God's grace is sufficient for this day.......

I am in a very content place in my life. However, 17 years past my life was in a dark phase & only God's grace & mercy sustained me. I learned that God's word is true in all phases of my life, in the valleys to the mountain tops. God's sense of humor with me made me laugh & just reminiscing about it - it still makes me laugh. He would only allow me very short times for self-pity parties, then He would gently nudge me to get over it & get on with the life before me. God placed friends & their children in my life to help me get out of my 'darkness'. Yes, I remember the hurt, loneliness & questions about my future.....but then I would hear God's voice gently telling me "I am the God of yesterday, today & tomorrow - trust me to guide your life one day at a time, for my grace is sufficient for this day". God would bring to mind how He had been faithful to me in the past & how He could continue to be there for me if I would let go & let Him take control. I give praises to God for the tender mercies that He showed me then & continues to this day.

Eleven Years Ago.....

2009-06-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Eleven years, 8 hours, 20 minutes have passed since I was blessed & given entry into motherhood......mentally I was not prepared, perhaps that's why God decided to surprise me! At 29 weeks, Lorenzo came into this world weighing 3lbs, 18" long, easiest birth ever I'm told. God had everything under control, the neonatologist was on his way back to Phoenix after his once a week full shift (he received the call to return while he was still in the parking lot), the doctor was able to examine Lorenzo & pronounce him healthy. Lorenzo did need assistance breathing, learning how to eat & reminding him to breathe. We were not able to hold him until his 3rd day, by the end of the week his weight had dropped to 2.5lbs (which was expected due to his burning more calories breathing than the amount he was ingesting). Lorenzo stayed in the NICU unit for 5-6 weeks, during that time I learned so much about trusting God & trusting myself as a mother. The nurses where a blessing to me, showing me why & what they were doing for Lorenzo's well being, showing me how to take care of a preemie '2 steps forward, 1 step back' with his progress was normal, giving me books to read, showing me pictures of other babies born under the same circumstances & how healthy they had grown. Meanwhile my tiny baby was learning to breathe, eat & poop.....the joys of motherhood!

I was blessed with a team of professionals to instruct me in his physical needs, a wonderful group of friends to help me in the emotional & spiritual field and a husband that kept me grounded in all areas. Chris's stability help me many a time when I wanted to flip, his reassurance that I would be a good mom, his love, support & no nonsense attitude when needed gave me the confidence that at 35 years old, I could be a good mom.

Looking back the time has gone quickly, and oh boy has the Lord seen fit to let me see myself for who I am.......woooohooo! To this day the lessons continue......... & perhaps the next blog will be about one of the many lessons.

Public School - New Phase

2009-06-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Our family is entering a new phase.......public school! or rather a charter school - but nonetheless it will be out of our 'control' sort of speak.

It has been decided that Lorenzo will attend a charter school for the next year or two (depending on how it goes) & I am in the throes of apprehension. This area will definitely become a challenge for me - for the last 4 years I have peacefully left my home every morning, knowing that my son is in good hands - his father has taught him & together they both have learned so much more than book knowledge. Now, just thinking about him going to school my stomach gets knotty - although I know God is in control & I definitely know that the experience will be good for my son - I do so want to protect him from any hurts & dissapointments. I must soldier forward, as my son so often tells me 'I am not a little boy - do not put me in a 'box' because of my age' & that my friends is a whole another blog.

I personally will grow in God, the anxiety that most moms experience in the first day of school, I've had the priviledge to delay for 5 years & now my time has come to face the music........

Lord Jesus, give me the wisdom of discernment when problems arise in school - help me to be vigilant in all areas concerning my son's physical & spiritual being. Jesus, give Lorenzo wisdom, grace & favor in his new environment - definitely I pray for his teachers, for greater understanding of all students, for insight on how to deal with class problems, for inspiration in their class lessons - I thank you God for the priviledge of this experience, I trust in You Lord - 'for all things work for the good of those that believe/trust in You' I believe that your wisdom/grace/mercy will continue to abide in the midst of my family.

One year has passed!

2009-04-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

Oh my Lord! One year has passed since I decided to start a blog & then I lost it! the blog that is.....so much for my blogging career.
God has moved so much this last year in all areas of my life. Where to start.....I believe one of the biggest areas that God touched me in was once again in the 'unbelievable selfishness' of my life. Having written that, I want to clarify that it is not said in condemnation but in the gracious conviction that God has shown in my life. God continues to show such mercy & grace and in His loving dealings with me, my eyes have been opened just a smidgen enough for me to deal with this following subject.............I do not want to die.
I am not afraid of dieing - I am confident & secured in my relationship with my Saviour Jesus Christ, yet I don't want to die. I know that when my times comes to be with Jesus, He will take good care of my husband & son, of the rest of my family (I know this, because I have experienced His loving peace under those circumnstances). Yet, I don't want to die...... I want to be here to share life with my family, my family needs me! My family can live without me but my family needs me & I need my family. It is selfish of me to not take care of my health so that I can have a fulfilling/high quality life with my family. It is selfish of me to want to be with Jesus Christ before my time. It is my desire to be with Jesus.....but in His time & it is my duty to take care of my health so that my life here can be lived to the extent that God has for me.
That revelation was the greatest revelation of the past 12 months - and I am on my way to better health, walking, taking my medication & making wise choices.

Amazing Scroll Work!

2008-04-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

I love wrought iron and I love the ingenuity of the person that first came up with this fun idea! It reminds me of Cinderella's carriage and this mustach man must be Prince Charming or the carriage driver?

My Birth Into The World Of Blogging!

2008-04-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

Wow!!!!

Here I am about to join the millions of bloggers and ceartainly hundreds of bloggers whose work I have so enjoyed.

I promise to bring news in a daily basis and I ask for your patience - if by chance you come accross my rumblings.

I will leave now and search for interesting items!